The Kama Sutra and Dwarfism

I came across this link about a week ago on Facebook since I subscribe to Cosmopolitan's page: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/awesome-new-sex-positions?src=spr_FBPAGE&spr_id=1440_23379618#slide-6

Looking at it, I'm thinking to myself "some of these could actually work, right?"; but then I re-think and know with the way our bodies are, especially females with achondroplasia who are born with BIG booties, it's ain't gonna happen. Lining up is one thing for average height folks or for missionary-type positions, but back to front is hard enough in itself when you're dealing with our bodies, however, some of these positions test the limits of our bodies themselves. And what fun would trying out these hot sex positions if it's going to be uncomfortable in ANY way, nevertheless painful? When I was 17, I started subscribing to Cosmo and still do. So that's 14 years of looking at amazing sex positions and knowing that unless I find someone A) is average height that could get around my booty or B) having a million props like pillows and all those distractions, that it would never work. So, my question is, how do we come up with our own Kama Sutra positions for people with dwarfism? I think it's possible, but we'd need couples to test them out and report back so we can record the results and make a book or booklet to give out. So many people are so shy about sharing what goes on between them sexually, which is fine, but you can't get a census without experimentation. How do you think Masters and Johnson figured out ways to make sex better? Of course, by experimenting themselves, but they had test subjects. All companies that produce sexual-related projects have test subjects. How do you think the #1 seller of vibrators for women stay #1? 

I propose that we, as a community of little people of all types, start experimenting and create our own guide to what works and what doesn't! Who doesn't love a sex book? We'd provide illustrations of ANONYMOUS people just like The Joy of Sex. The Joy of Sex for Little People. Now, don't go stealing my idea. But I'd like to work together to make something like this. Have someone who takes down the research Q&A, someone who records the results, someone who does the illustrations, and people who volunteer to be anonymous testers. I'd even like to see people test sex toys because let me tell you, as a female with achondroplasia, finding a vibrator that is long enough to reach where it needs to but don't have to constantly hold on to since having short arms makes for very tired arms. To be perfectly frank, I found one that is remote controlled so that it's essentially hands free. I never knew they even existed until I went into an adult store one day and simply went up to the proprietor and told him my dilemma and he immediately knew what to show me. You can't be shy when it comes to things like this, and if you're going to spend the money to give yourself pleasure, you might as well be as open as possible. You can always ask your GYN, but I can pretty much tell you that unless they know their sex toys, that they're going to tell you to go to your local Walgreens or CVS and buy a "personal massager". Yeah, those are lovely for sore muscles but for pleasure, no bueno. I remember when I was college age and reading in Cosmo about masturbation and how wonderful it was. And I kept thinking, that would be great since my boyfriend lives in another state but how the hell am I supposed to reach all the way down there? I tried and tried and ended up so frustrated that I gave up. Until I went into the adult store one day. I feel I wasted so much time; but when you're that age, EVERYTHING about sex was still embarrassing! So please, please, PLEASE ask your local expert if you need help reaching in this endeavor!

I also am thinking about starting a column for little people to be able to ask questions about these things anonymously. I know I could've used one 10-15 years ago.

Sex is the most basic of human natures. There's nothing to ever be embarrassed about when it comes to asking questions. That's why I'm asking the question of "what can be adapted for us?". The usual sex positions are great! They've been around since Day 1 and are trusted friends. But wouldn't it be great if we could do some of the more daring positions like in the article above? I mean, I know physics. Our legs don't go as high in the air as average height folks or even some of the taller LPs, but I'd like to think there's other positions that could be adapted.

I often wonder if it's as uncomfortable for average height women to give oral sex as it is for me. Is it just because I have TMJ and Fibromyalgia so my jaw and mouth get sore and tired more quickly and because the bow in my legs makes it so hard on my knees? Is it harder for LP men to give oral sex or is it the same for both LP and average height men? I'm so curious. Because as much as I want to please my partner, it is one of the hardest (ha ha) things for me to do! I can lay on my back and have sex missionary style with my legs wrapped around all day long. But when it comes to oral sex, I get that "oh, geez" groan in my head. I'll do it, but I just know the pain will be quick to follow.

So, that's what I've been thinking about lately. I'd love some feedback. Would you be willing/interested to participate in something like a Joy of Sex for LPs? Have you had better experiences with the Karma Sutra than I have and how? I know it's all different with different types of dwarfism. For those of you with longer limbs and torsos, I could totally see it. Do you have any ideas on how to make it accessible from an LP's perspective? I'd also love to hear from average height and LP couples on how they make it hot and mixed up. If you don't feel comfortable doing so, I absolutely understand. And if you want to make it anonymous, feel free to email me at lilsouthernsizzl@gmail.com. 

As always, thank you for letting me share my inner most thoughts with you!

Always with love,
Alli

Dreams

Today, I awoke at 5 AM with a wicked headache and could NOT go back to sleep. I don't do well waking up before dawn. After an hour of religiously counting sheep and the yarns they'd make, I got up. See, I had plans for this afternoon with one of my very favorite girls and I was bound and determined to get the headache GONE and go have fun. Yeah, it didn't happen. I had to cancel the plans I'd looked forward to all week. So finally the Advil kicked in and I was back to dreamland. And let me tell you, it was one HELL of a ride. I'm going to use fake names to describe to you my dreams, just so it protects their privacy. I'm going to list them in no particular order and as best as I can remember them. Remember, these are dreams and MY dreams, never EVER make a lick of sense! Also, these are the PG rated version as I have a mother who reads most everything I post as well as people who blush at subjects such as sex!

I'm going to start out with the dream that re-occurs, 9 times out of 10, every week. More than once a week closer to the time to leave for convention. In these dreams I am ALWAYS too late. It's either already over, or I get there 2 days before everyone leaves. I also seem to have a problem finding my clothes at convention. I'm either naked, or half-dressed. Sometimes people notice, most the time, they don't. I'm always self-conscience about it, even though I don't understand why I don't just get dressed! This particular dream was a sort-of replay of July in D.C. There was a Mr. J (for jerk), with me and some other girlfriends and guy friends in the pool area. All of a sudden, we were playing "Baby, I love you, but I just can't smile." Mr. J was cheating and using dirty tactics, and I was already furious with him. But as always, just like in real life, I lost. Then it got touch and go and thankfully he was gone. Then apparently we moved the convention from D.C. to Miami and I got all excited because it was near the MTV offices. I don't even know if there ARE MTV offices in Miami. (I'm sure there are, just not like NY?)

Then we drive from Miami, we being a Mr. CG (for cute guy) and Mr. L (life-long friend), to somewhere else in FL, drop off a very agile Mr. L, who's not very agile, and begin a journey to Canada. Instead, we make a pit stop in Texas. All I know is that it was my fault because I was the co-pilot, and you don't go through Texas to get to Canada! I got some nice cuddles in, though. I'm always happy about that, lost or not! :)

This is where it gets tricky. I'm now on my own. But still trying to get to convention. I somehow find my way into an interactive museum about big cats and the people that work with them or own them. And it truly was interactive because the tigers and leopards and cross breeds were there, in real life, walking with you. They were lovely and cuddly but I kept thinking about that show "Fatal Attractions"! Then at the end, they were supposed to take you back to the beginning and then you could go back to the real world. 'Cept, they forgot about me. Figures. So, I was in this maze of holographic people, real big cats, and all my friends had already gone and left for the hotel. It felt like The Hangover, with little people. Sober. Mike Tyson would have made it better, but he is not in my thoughts on a regular basis, ever. Finally, the owners get me out of there and where do I end up? Back at home. Again. NOT at convention. Ugh. I try my hand at packing again thinking I can get back to D.C. in a day and go into my closet and find that it isn't my closet. BEAUTIFUL clothes. Did I get to wear any? No f***in' clue. Next thing I know, I'm in some stranger's home!

This had to be on an island somewhere. Because, as I perceived it, I was being "hosted". Like when I was a YAV in the UK. They were introducing me to this fruit that had to be prepared *just so* or you essentially got electrocuted from the spines. And I thought I nailed it. But I got a definite shock. So, I left the dirty work to them. While they prepared this fruit (it had a name in the dream, started with a M, but I can't think of it now) there was a song on the radio in the background about that particular fruit sung by Flo Rida. Ha. I could see the beach and nothing but beach from the glass paneled house that I'd never seen before and with people I'd never met before. This is getting so strange. Then I explore my surroundings, my room, their rooms, and all of a sudden no matter what I touch, I get butter fingers. I drop EVERYTHING, knock down EVERYTHING, make a mess of EVERYTHING. Nobody seems to notice. I go into my hostess's bedroom (mind you, I do have manners normally, just apparently not in my dreams) and find Lil Bub and like 6 other cats. Lil Bub is a cat that I'm totally in love with. She's truly a dwarf cat and is very popular. Naturally,I was thrilled! Yeah....she seemed to break every time I touched her. And then the other cats would break, too. This  was TOTALLY normal to her owners which scared the shit outta me. Cats should NOT break, special needs or not! 

This is where it gets really bizarre, if it's not so already. I end up in another person's home. But I'm not really there. It's truly me reading a book and watching it play out. I'm somewhere in Louisiana at night running into tigers and goats that are friends and find that there's been a crime committed. Never find out what, but the only thing I was worried about the whole time was the cats getting out for the tigers to eat. The sheriff was a big man, the cop was a lesbian who kept pictures of the sheriff's wife in her bedroom and a secret stash in his bathroom. She also owns an opossum that has porcupine quills and extends them at random times. I happened to be the random time, and while I'm not supposed to be there, I am apparently. The last thing I remember is the sheriff making eggs on toast, British-style. 

Holy macanoli! This was all in just a 3 hour nap! And I still know there are parts that are blurry and I missed. But I thought this was hilarious and think I should make it a habit of blogging the most interesting and vivid dreams so I can have them to look back on one day and also to share with you! It'll be interesting to know what you think of all of this. Like I said, makes NO sense to me except that I know I dream about people I've talked to recently, the convention dream has been there for years, and some of the nuances I get. Otherwise, this is some CRAZY subconscious I have!

Signing off with love,

Alli

Back To Blogging

Hi. I'm Allison! I'm fairly new to the blogging community. I've done a few posts in the past but nothing to really "count" as blogging. So here I am! I'm 31, single, been through a very messy divorce, have 4 cats and 2 parents. The one thing that keeps me from doing everything I love is my health. You wouldn't know it by looking at me, but I have Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto's Hypothroiditis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and the most obvious thing, Achondroplasia. It's the most common type of dwarfism that exists. So, I live by the "spoon theory". Check out www.butyoudontlooksick.com  I start out each day with a certain number of "spoons", which are the equivalent of bursts of energy or energy uses. Imagine Candy Crush. I start out with 5 "spoons" and after 5, I have to wait a period of time for more to come back. Some days I start out with 15, some I start out with 1, and it goes fast. I love life and hate to waste time being sick. Alas, it's the cards I've been dealt. I do the best with what I have and when I don't have, I deal. But that's a downer to talk about. Let me tell you a little more about me.

I LOVE movies and music. I love theaters and concerts as well as Netflix and MP3 at home.

I started knitting a year ago and can't stop. I have a yarn stash a mile long!

I'm a people person. I'm happiest when I'm around friends and family.

I'm an animal person. I used to have a career in animal rescue work before I became to sick to work. I'd rescue animals all day long if I could!

I'm obsessed with donuts, Paris, all of the UK, keys and locks, stationery, Thai food, macarons, petit fours, Candy Crush, Sudoku, PIE, knitting, sushi, ANYTHING 80's, reading, buying books, audiobooks, locally owned restaurants and shops, Etsy, root beer, and KISSING.

I'm a complete and total bookworm. I own more books than anything else. Someday I'll build my own library!

My life is pretty rough and tumble at times. I stay sick and very rarely wake up with no pain. I used to be able to get out of bed every day and do SOMETHING but as I've grown older that isn't always the case anymore. I don't like it when it happens, but it happens. I go with the flow and just try to keep my health in check. People with Lupus can live just as long as any healthy person as long as they take care of themselves and stay away from organ damage. So far I'm 19 years and no organ damage strong! 

I feel it's essential to keep smiling. Keep socially active and see the glass half full. Otherwise, it would eat me alive. Sooo, I'll always have a half glass of good ol' southern sweet tea in me! :)

That's it for today. It's good to be back in the blogging game! Sweet dreams, y'all!